Thursday, February 18, 2010

Memories

Memories. I have realized have very few. I am doing a Beth Moore study called "Breaking Free" and we are supposed to identify generational sins to help us break free from them. I have been a big believer in generational sins for years and have seen the effects of them on my family. This is nothing new, but what is new, through a series of events I have come to realize I only have bad memories, especially from my childhood. Also, I can only identify the negative qualities of my parents and grandparents.

For some reason, I can not remember when I did something well or when I said something smart or even when I was kind to someone. I only remember when I said something stupid, hurt someone's feelings, or did something shameful or embarrassing. I have on occasion had someone tell me that I was kind and I remember being shocked. I thought surely they are one of those people who have problems with over-exaggeration.

The Lord says, "That as far as the east is from the west, so far have I removed your transgressions". So why can't I let them go? This is what I have asked Him as well as, "Please help me to remember the good things too".

Therefore, I intend to blog about the good memories as He brings them to mind. It is my way of drawing a line in the sand and saying, "No more!". I am not going to wallow in the sins of the past. I am going to "think on the good things that the Lord has done for me". And since there are usually only two people who read my blog and I feel very safe with both of them, I think it will be very therapeutic.

First memory: playing cards. Last night while talking to a friend about getting together, she mentioned playing rummy. I remember having so much fun playing rummy and various card games with my family. As long as everyone was home and no one was drinking, it was so much fun. I remember one summer day sitting on the back porch and my mom teaching us older kids how to play hearts. It was so much fun and I remember laughing. It was warm and safe that day.


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